When it comes to productivity advice on the internet, you can throw a rock (or do a search) in any direction and you’re bound to hit at least 27 self-proclaimed gurus, 213 blogs, and 460 YouTube channels. You just want quick and dirty tips to increase productivity now.
So how do you separate what advice actually works from what is complete garbage? Well, keep reading and you’ll quickly understand what separates the best advice from years of additional wasted time.
NOTE: If you don’t understand or appreciate satire just stop reading now. Seriously. STOP. I’m trying to make C.S. Lewis jealous with this post.
Without further ado, here are 20 sure-fire ways to increase your productivity.
1) Do your research to find the absolute best productivity guru.
Climb the mountain to them. Sit at their feet to soak in their wisdom. Follow their system to the letter. It worked for them, so it has to work for you.
2) You will get tired, and when you do it’s time to double down with an extra cup of coffee or energy drink.
Some people may tell you that caffeine can’t be relied on in the long-term, but you know better. This magic energy blend from heaven can animate even the most tired among us. Besides, being tired is proof that you’re working hard.
3) Turn on notifications on all your devices.
If you have kids, you know how important it is for them to alert you to absolutely every issue. And in order to stay ahead you need to react right away.
When it comes to notifications, unless you can hear every ding and see every update you’ll fall behind, and one thing you’re sure of is that you don’t want to fall behind. There is no better way to stay ahead of things than to take care of them immediately.
4) Check email first thing in the morning.
There is nothing like knowing exactly what your day has in store, so why not get ahead of it first thing in the morning.
Remember, the early bird gets the worm.
5) Subscribe to every productivity blog.
Be sure to add their feeds to your RSS reader. Check their twitter feeds on the hour to never miss the latest tips and tricks.
And to make sure you never miss anything, follow them on Facebook so when you check your feed you’ll see exactly what you’ve been missing.
What could be more productive than learning from the best as soon as they hit publish?
6) Focus all your energy on finding life hacks.
Squeeze every second out of your day. Down-time and rest are for lazy people who simply don’t know how to get everything done. You never want to get caught working too hard.
7) Research and use all the latest gadgets.
Make sure to spend a minimum of 1000 hours researching all the latest gadgets you can use to become your most productive self. Never save time by looking at my curated resource page 😉.
8) Having the right technology automatically makes you more productive.
Some gurus tell you that you should focus on systems instead of tools. What a joke. They obviously haven’t found the right tool.
You know better. It’s not the systems, it is the tools.
9) Track and quantify absolutely everything.
Find an app for every area of your life to track every piece of data and be a master of the quantified self movement.
What you don’t measure, you can’t fix.
10) Don’t let laziness creep into your life.
If there’s time to relax, there’s time to complete another task.
11) Always work hard for a better future.
Even if it means you have to sacrifice everything, do it.
You’re working hard now so you can rest later. If you truly want to experience rest, then you need to know what it’s like to put your nose to the grindstone.
Future you thank your hard-working self.
12) Say “yes” to every opportunity that comes along.
You’ll never catch your lucky break if you don’t take every opportunity that comes your way.
One of these days it will finally happen.
13) Embrace stress.
Stress from a busy schedule will just prepare you for the stress you’ll face later.
Don’t believe me? Once you finally get that promotion it will be stressful, but you’ll be prepared becasue you’re so productive.
14) Schedule every minute.
What’s scarier than a blank calendar.
Pack your calendar so full of events that there is absolutely no white-space.
Schedule every minute of every day and enjoy the feeling of control you have.
15) When your energy feels low, get a sweet treat or energy drink.
This quick burst of energy will help you check off that last task.
Don’t worry about the crash that comes later, you can always get another pick-me-up or hit the caffeine again.
16) Test ALL the latest task management apps.
If you think you’ve found the perfect app, you better test one more just to be sure.
Go watch a few more YouTube videos, read some reviews. Nothing feels more productive than studying the latest productivity tools.
17) Spend your day focused on all the small tasks you’ve been putting off.
You’ve heard of the two-minute rule. If it takes two minutes or less, do it now.
Who cares if you have 120 two-minute tasks. That counts as four hours of productivity!
19) Skip the morning routine.
That waste of time we call morning routines can be stopped if you get right to work.
And doesn’t that just seem like a better use of time?
20) Spend a lot of time on social media.
It’s much quicker and easier to connect with people online than to meet in person. Where else can you see what’s trending so you always have something to talk about.
And by the way, it’s never distracted anyone.
Please share the “best” productivity advice you’ve ever heard in the comments below.
If you liked this post, enter your name and email below. I promise not to clutter your inbox with garbage. Only productivity tips that work in the real world. Still not sure if you like me, check out my about page to see what this blog is all about.
Here’s to your productivity!
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